| |
|
|
I have felt very anxious all day today. It seems like everything made me have anxiety. I even had a few mild panic attacks over minor things. I hate the feelings that it gives me. I was suppose to go to womens meeting tonight but I made an excuse to not go it was a real reason at the time but I now see that it was just an excuse I also said that I would go next week and I have since made a reason for that not to happen it’s not that I don’t want to go I just can’t I love the women there and really enjoy the compainship that they give me. I don’t know. I wish that I was normal sometimes I wish I didn’t live in this world that I have created , this prison that I call my life. Sometimes I wish there was a magic pill that would make it all go away but just like with my weight loss there is no magic pill. I have been doing a lot of searching for answers lately and I try to dig deep inside and find that strength that everyone says I have inside but I come up lacking. Sometimes I feel like I’m so empty inside. My husband is bringing up having a baby again when he knows we can’t I truely want another baby but it knows how hard it would be and then still there are no guarantees. My husband and I had another good day no fighting I had a little bit of anxiety about him coming home and it got the kids going I was sure it would start a fight but we pushed through it and it turned out okay. Hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight and for tomorrow to be better. I wish I had someone to talk to but I know that too would only last so long.
Leave a Reply
|
|
|
